Top Ten Benefits of Delivering Your 18th Child in America

Photo by Welt Online

By immigrating to Canada, instead of here, Livia Ionce, the 44 yo Romanian woman who just gave birth to her 18th child, missed out on a whole lot o' reproductive health advantages.

According to the husband:

We never planned how many children to have. We just let God guide our lives, you know, because we strongly believe life comes from God and that's the reason we did not stop the life," said Alexandru Ionce.

So the Ionce's made a particular reproductive choice--not to plan the pregnancies- based on a particular personal belief. Which personal choice and belief, had they immigrated to the U.S., would've entitled Mrs. Ionce to the following top 10 benefits (in no particular order):

1. Hospitals and doctors who refuse to admit/deliver her because of the pregnancy decision she made.

2. State laws that force doctors to lie to her about her medical condition if she elects to have prenatal care and deliver.

3. Pharmacists who steal her prescription for prenatal vitamins.

4. Nurses who get CME credit for lectures on how their forced abortion beliefs trump her beliefs and medical needs.

5. Fake L&D facilities designed to trick her into aborting her pregnancy.

6. Noble First Amendment crusaders who expose her young children to graphic pictures of vaginal and rectal tears, C/Ss and hysterectomies.

7. Mandatory counseling and waiting period before being allowed to proceed with her reproductive choice, if, and only if, her choice is to carry the pregnancy to term and deliver it.

8. A forced vaginal U/S while reading a sign stating that it's "against the law for anyone, regardless of his or her relationship to you, to force you to carry the pregnancy to term" to insure her decision to do just that is fully informed.

9. HHS defining her medical condition based on polls and personal beliefs.

10. A SCOTUS decision banning vaginal deliveries and decreeing C/S the standard of care for deliveries of grand multips.

Oh.....wait a minute. The Ionce's did not make a different reproductive choice, one where you plan how many children, if any at all, to have. They also happen to believe in a God [a Western one, presumably] sanctioned as The Correct God(TM) by the current U.S. government.

Never mind then; ignore the list.

Only those who make the, you know, wrong reproductive choice are entitled to benefit from government supervision and intrusion in their lives and medical decisions. Them people and those whose personal beliefs are deemed wrong by the State, of course.

From Doctor to Blogger

Photo by arquera

Doctor gives up practicing medicine for full time blogging. In related news, scores of medbloggers check their SiteMeters and make a metal note of the increase in traffic needed to reach 40 million page views a month.

Disorderly 6-Foot Penis

Photo by d70focus

Since when is it illegal to dress offensively?

SARATOGA SPRINGS, N.Y. - A judge has ordered a 19-year-old man to write an apology to a the city of Saratoga Springs in New York for dressing in an offensive costume at a high school graduation.

Calvin Morett had pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct for dressing in a 6-foot penis costume at the graduation at the Saratoga Performing Arts Center.


The judge has also ordered Morett to pay to have the apology published in a local newspaper, pay court fees and perform 24 hours of community service.

Alex Rodriguez on Parade

I stumbled on a parade, a baseball parade of all things, while walking the dog today. I don't follow the sport and I didn't have my camera on me, but I do have a couple of observations.

Judging by the throngs of spectators cheering [and, occasionally, jeering] the players, the sport is very popular.

The player Alex Rodriguez was passing by while I was there.

First, he's very good looking (and a crowd favorite, going by the cheers and commotion he elicited).

Second, he was the only one wearing a suit; buttoned down shirt, tie, and all. Now, I appreciate the gesture; if one is thrown a parade, one should make an effort to appear presentable. But, given the insufferable heat and humidity at this time of day, it's remarkable that Mr. Rodriguez was still smiling after being paraded for who knows how many blocks in the back of a pick-up truck. [Maybe the bodyguards around him were providing some kind of discreet air conditioning?]

All in all, it looked like both the crowd and the players on parade were having a good time.

Religious and Political Support for Illegal Abortions in Brazil

Photo by wili_hybrid

When at least one million illegal abortions are believed to occur in your country annually, more than 200,000 women are hospitalized each year because of complications resulting from abortions, and most abortions are obtained by employed Catholic mothers ages 20 to 29 who used contraceptive devices and have steady sexual partners, what do you do?

If you're the Catholic Church you launch an antiabortion campaign.

If you're the lower house of the Brazilian national Congress you reject a bill to legalize abortion.

When it comes to reproductive health, religion and politics.....what are they good for? Absolutely nothing.

U.S. Democracy Depends On Retroactive Immunity for Printer Makers

Remember when politicians told us that FISA will only be used to investigate terrorism and not as a tool of domestic law enforcement?

It's now the Secret Service's turn to assure us that identifying dots [they tell authorities the serial number of a printer that made a document and, in some cases, also the time and date it was printed] on laser printers are only used to investigate counterfeiters.

Now, in the good old days of Communism, the State's eavesdropping was omnipresent and an absolute state power. It was a given that your home, your phone, hotel rooms, cars, offices, classrooms will be bugged. Also, every single typewriter in the country had to be registered with the state and a sample of typed text had to be filed with the police. Failure to comply would land you in jail. But at least not even the crassest, most brainwashed piece of garbage Communist official would pretend it was all about fighting terrorists and counterfeiters.

Bottom line: I, being the good citizen that I am, totally plan to get a jump on things and voluntarily register my non-doted ink-jet printer with the cops. Because it's never too early to ingratiate yourself with the authorities of an upcoming totalitarian state. I strongly advise you do the same.

World Wide Web Abortions

Photo by Mike Licht

See, this is exactly what happens when you allow incompetents to use computers and get on the Internets. Silly women persons order abortifacient drugs online and use them to terminate pregnancies.

Women on Web, the site profiled in the article [but not linked to because, you know, abortion cooties], helps women around the world gain access to a safe medical abortion (with the pills mifepristone and misoprostol) in order to reduce the number of deaths due to unsafe abortions.

According to the BBC, Women on Web posts the drugs only to countries where abortion is heavily restricted, and to women who declare they are less than nine weeks' pregnant. There's also no charge for the drugs; rather a minimal donation is requested.

This is the first I hear of Women on Web so I have no experience with this site. I did a quick check of the content and, in my professional opinion, the information is medically accurate and the reference list is reputable.

My reaction to Women on Web? In theory, I think it's pathetic (not to mention potentially high-risk) that some patients have to resort to DIY specialized medical care just because they happen to be pregnant. In practice, when your reality is that your access to proper medical care is at the mercy of strangers, it's preferable to obtain care from (apparently) competent strangers like Women on Web, rather than some unqualified black marketeer.

In closing, I leave you with this bit of [deranged] comic relief, courtesy of an anti-abortion crusader cited in the article:

Josephine Quintavalle, from the group Comment on Reproductive Ethics, said: "This is very worrying indeed. It represents further trivialisation of the value of the unborn child.

"It's like taking abortion into the shadows. These drugs have side-effects and tragedies will increase."

Good thing then that the unborn child receptacles have no value, and laws banning abortion aren't like, you know, taking abortion into the shadows.

College Student Steals Catholic God, Keeps It Hostage in Ziploc Bag

Photo by meg price

Buddha on an Eucharist, the Webster Cook story is wrong on so many levels it's hard not to get the vapors just cataloguing the wackaloonery.

Here's one of those levels; see if it rings any bells.

A real, live human, of the college student variety, is assaulted because of a magical clump of doughy cells. The student, while inside a church, is jumped from behind and physically attacked by a church leader for not properly handling a bit of biscuit.

Apparently, some people, like the Ninja church members, hold a personal belief that after a magic moment involving a blessing, a biscuit becomes an actual person. [Just like with the 9 months process of human gestation and the belief in the magic singularity that is the sacred sperm.] (emphasis mine):

"When I received the Eucharist, my intention was to bring it back to my seat to show him," Cook said. "I took about three steps from the woman distributing the Eucharist and someone grabbed the inside of my elbow and blocked the path in front of me. At that point I put it in my mouth so they'd leave me alone and I went back to my seat and I removed it from my mouth."

A church leader was watching, confronted Cook and tried to recover the sacred bread. Cook said she crossed the line and that's why he brought it home with him.

"She came up behind me, grabbed my wrist with her right hand, with her left hand grabbed my fingers and was trying to pry them open to get the Eucharist out of my hand," Cook said, adding she wouldn't immediately take her hands off him despite several requests.

The University's response: Apologize to the attacker (you know, how you do when the perpetrator is a member of a sect religious organization you're subsidizing to the tune of 40K) and post armed guards to defend the body-biscuit to the bitter end.

Or until the next available believer shoves the succulent body into his/her mouth and digests it. Whichever comes first.