Contradiction Has No Limits

I'm not on an anti-America crusade. On the contrary, I love Jersey Shore, Sarah Palin's outfits, the American Pie Movies and other cultural treasures which that magnificent country offers. But when America's health site,, publishes a piece called "America's Top 10 Healthiest Fast Food Restaurants", I get the urge to write a piece called "Britain's Top 10 Best Parents Under The Age Of 14".

Alfie Patten with his baby girl at 13, would obviously be my number one.

New Sassy Baby Carrots

An American news site wrote "Because Americans must be tricked into doing things that are good for them" when reporting about the new Baby Carrot snack bags which mimic junk food packaging.

Well, if they even admit it themselves....

No, really.

These Magazine Covers were voted to as the 'Most Delecious Magazine Covers' by the American Society of Magazine Editors (ASME) and Amazon. Really?

Maybe I am a bit of a snob but I can think of thousands of other covers which would be better deserved of that title. Like this one:

Joking! I sooo am a Vampire gal.

Something Fishy

It's a fine day for being American! At least if you like to eat gentically-modified meat! Because if you're lucky, "a year and a half from now you could be eating the very first genetically-modified animal approved for public consumption: The AquAdvantage® salmon", news site Gawker reports.

The AquAdvantage® salmon grows twice as fast as...well...natural and completely normal salmon and is cleverly made up by "a neat bit of DNA from an "eel-like creature" called the ocean pout that's been grafted onto a chinook salmon's growth hormone gene."

Yaaay! I hope they start selling this because I can't wait to see happy young sushi eaters skyrocketing in size from all the amazing genes they'll be eating. I mean I guess I could just watch people grow in a normal pace, but seriously? That's just sooo 2009.

McDonalds Just Wont Stop Killing Us

Brooklyn based artist Elizabeth Demaray is currently exhibiting her piece "Corpor Esurit" at Exit Art, NY. Her piece which is featured in the New York Times is explained as an art piece that contains ants who live on McDonalds food: "For one month, the ants, which usually thrive on seeds, are being fed a steady diet of McDonald’s Happy Meals. They even get the toys."

Many of you might now think "Oh, lucky ants! Cheeseburgers and child labour produced-toys instead of seeds, why they must be the happiest ants on earth!"

Uhm. No. I don't think so. Simply because:

"At the gallery last week, many of the ants were dead. A few looked disoriented. This exhibit lacks a queen and brood, so the workers are leading a life devoid of its fundamental purpose." [NY Times]

That's right children. Ronald McDoanld will kill you in your sleep.

Oh, And Remember To Flush It Down With...

Pimp Juice. And no, is not made out of Pimp sperm but even yuckier stuff such as:

Carbonated Water, Sugar, Apple Juice Concentrate, Citric Acid, Natural Flavour, D-Ribose, Malic Acid, Sodium Benzoate (preservative), Ascorbic Acid, Inositol, Caffeine, Potassium Sorbate (preservative), Niacinamide, Calcium Pantothenate, Guarana (Paullinia Cupana) Seed Extract, Tararzine, Taurine, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride, Riboflavin, Brilliant Blue, Cyanocobalamin.

The bold words are just some random stuff that will make your brain and/or penis shrink. Or make your belly really big.

When Yo Inner Snoop Dogg Has Got Da Munchies...

You know there's only one snack to grab - the Rap Snack!

Ingredients: Ground hoes, Ol' school durags and some J Dilla tapes.
Also: remember to pimp slap the bag after you finished.

When Hunger Hurts

I don't really know where and when I made the transition from posting pictures of fatty, unhealthy and cruel foods to plain disgusting ones. I guess I just have a thing for gross things. It's like when I can't stop starring at The Hills cast.

Bat Soup from Thailand, China and Guam.

Whole Sheep's Head, a North European and Mediterranian dish.

Soft Boiled Fetal Duck, from the Philipines and Vietnam.

Ps. Isn't it funny how disgusting food always tends to be something corpse-ish? And not something subtle like Sushi or a pair of leather Gucci boots, but full on death on a plate.

Last Night I Went To A Beautiful Party...

They had all kinds of delicious foods and oh how we danced...

Religion and Healthcare Do not Mix, Part 1 Million

What could be more healthcare-y than depriving patients of medical information and treatment in the name of religious doctrine?

A dispute over condoms and Catholic values has left Greenwich Village without an urgent care clinic six months after St. Vincent's Hospital closed its doors in bankruptcy.

North Shore/Long Island Jewish Medical Center received a $9 million grant from the state to open a clinic in the West Village - likely in the now-abandoned St. Vincent's emergency room.

But sources familiar with negotiations say St. Vincent's leaders have insisted that the new facility abide by Catholic directives - including an agreement not to counsel patients about birth control.

Terry Lynam, a spokesman for North Shore/LIJ, would not confirm that birth control was the holdup, but said, "The terms presented to us pose some significant problems."

He said negotiations are continuing.

Mummified Remains of Babies Linked [Not!] to 'Peter Pan' Author James M. Barrie

Ah, the good old NY Daily News still trying valiantly to get the hang of this "reporting" thing. From an article headlined Mummified remains of babies linked to 'Peter Pan' author James M. Barrie (emphasis mine):

LOS ANGELES - Cops are following clues that suggest a link between the author of "Peter Pan" and the mummified remains of two babies found in a Los Angeles basement.

"Whether there's a link to the author, whether these are relatives or whether it's a freak coincidence, we don't know," Lt. Joe Losorelli told the Daily News Thursday.


The macabre mystery began late Tuesday when two women cleaning a building's storage area discovered the tiny skeletal remains shrouded in 1930s newspapers.

They were tucked into black leather satchels and locked in a steamer trunk emblazoned with the initials JMB.


Investigators quickly noticed the apparent owner of the trunk shared initials and a last name with James M. Barrie, the Scottish author of the famous "Peter Pan" series, who died in 1937 at age 77.

"We're not prepared to say there's any link," Losorelli said. "We're going to figure it out."

The Story of Wanda and the New York Pizza Burger

There's a fat teenage girl in all of us. Her name is Wanda, she likes the Jonas Brothers and she smells of bacon. Sometimes (all the time) Wanda gets hungry. And when Wanda gets hungry there's this familiar question that always pops up in her head: Pizza or Hamburger? (Or hamburgers really, because seriously, Wanda is huge.)

This has always been a bit of a dilemma for Wanda. I mean Pizza or Hamburgers? That's like choosing between losing your virginity and butter flavored pop tarts!

But good news Wanda! You don't have to choose anymore. Because the new awesome Whopper Bar, owned by Burger King and located on Times Square, has come up with the oh-so-innovative idea of crossing a hamburger with a pizza! Say hello to the New York Pizza Burger!

I know this is awesome news for your inner Wanda - now, she doesn’t have to cry over Justin Bieber's absence while lying on her bed anymore. She can just lie on the New York Pizza Burger while doing it.

Now, this is what you call super food.
Wanda's Sugar Daddy

Wanda's new bed.

Don't Choose The Milkyway, Choose The Right Way

A funny thing occurred when I wrote about the amount of pus that could be found in cow's milk a while back. An angry reader sent me an e-mail saying: "And where does it say that cow pus is bad for you!?".

Anyway. Just like to say one thing about milk and the I'll be off - Don't drink it.

Just some few random fun facts why you shouldn't:

* Did you know that we humans are the only mammals who continue to drink milk even after we start eating firm food? (And the only ones who keep on giving it to our kids.)

* Did you know that our organisms can only incorporate the milk sugar with the enzyme lactase and in most people's small intestines you can only find that enzyme in the first years of their life? Thats why people become lactose intolerant. Hello balloon belly.

* It's one of the fattiest things on earth after Fat Joe's chin. And if it's not "full-fat" aka fake, then you have to add vitamins and other synthetic shit just because the fat has been taken out and when the natural fat goes, the natural vitamins go too.

* It's still got cow pus btw.

pus pus pus pus pus pus pus pus pus pus

Black Olives are for Los Estupidos

If you've ever bought black olives in the supermarket you'd probably wondered why they are like Cristiano Ronaldo. Tasteless. Haaaa.

No but seriously. They lack in taste, shape and all that jazz and I'll tell you why: They don't exist. I'm not fooling you son, they actually don't exist. Black olives are just green olives which through a chemical process have been dyed black with acid and pasteurised.

When green olives get to hang long enough on the olive trees they do get a little darker from the sun but never black and without their pits. Like the ones in your can.

So ditch the fake black shoe polish olives and turn to to the green organic ones. Because once you go green you never go back. Haaa.

Aunt Jemima's Crispy Fried Chicken Pancakes

My great aunt Jemima always used to say "Child, if yo chicken aint wrapped in pancake mix, ya know ya being fooled ". Here is her ol recipe of Crispy Fried Chicken Pancakes:

  1. Rinse chicken pieces well and pat dry.

  2. Combine pancake mix, salt and pepper in large bowl.

  3. Coat chicken well with dry mixture; shaking off any excess mix.

  4. Heat oil in a deep-fat fryer or large deep skillet to 375° F.

  5. Fry 3-4 pieces at a time in hot oil about 10-15 minutes or until golden brown and internal temperature is 165° F.

  6. Drain chicken on wire cooling rack or paper towel.

Why Raise A Child When You Can Raise A Bulldozer

Ahh, children. Beautiful little innocent creatures who blindfully trust us adults. They put their lives into our hands and we reassure them that we'll do anything to protects these little precious lives, who really, are the future.


The most calorific Kids Meal in America is Friendly's "Mac and Cheese Quesadillas", a meal which includes a drink and a dessert and adds up to 2300 calories. An adult needs 2000 per day.

But I mean if your child is really, really hungry then why not?

I'd love to have a little child the size of a house. Then I would make it fight pitbulls and take bets. You know how I get that money son!

ellaOne: Matthew Perrone and The AP Should Be Ashamed of Themselves


First, go wrap your head in a couple of towels. Then, and only then, go read this AP article on ellaOne and do your best to keep the head-hitting-desk at a minimum.

How is it possible for what should be a simple article about the approval of the new emergency contraceptive pill (ECP) ellaOne to contain such a massive amount of misinformation? Words fail me. Fortunately, my fingers still work so here we go:

Get everything wrong from the start

WASHINGTON – Federal health officials on Friday approved a new type of morning-after contraceptive that works longer than the current leading drug on the market.

The pill ella from HRA Pharma reduces the chance of pregnancy up to five days after sex. Plan B, the most widely used emergency contraceptive pill, begins losing its ability to prevent pregnancy within three days of sex.

Two paragraphs in and everything is wrong. (Is this some kind of record?)

First, Plan B is not the current leading ECP drug on the market seeing how, you know, it's been withdrawn and replaced with Plan B One-Step for quite some time now.

Second, the terminology morning-after contraceptive is wrong, wrong, wrong. It's either post-coital contraceptive (the class), or the ECP (a group in the class). You can use "morning-after" pill only if you make it clear it's an incorrect common usage. Otherwise you risk confusing your readers with the implication that the morning-after time period has any particular significance for the ECP dosage regimen. Which, of course, it doesn't.

You take the ECP as soon as possible after the act of unprotected intercourse -- an hour, 12 hours, two days, etc., up to five days.

Third, ellaOne, and pay attention AP reporters because this is important, as well as all the other available ECPs -- Plan B One-Step, Next Choice, iPill / Nextime, Levonelle One Step -- reduce the chance of pregnancy up to five days after sex.

But wait, there's more! All ECP brands, past and present, including Plan B and ellaOne begin losing their ability to prevent pregnancy the longer you wait to take them. For example, take ellaOne within 0 to 72 hrs after unprotected intercourse and it's 85% effective (pdf). Take it between 48 and 120 hrs (5 days) and it's only 61% effective.

Read the offending paragraph again:

The pill ella from HRA Pharma reduces the chance of pregnancy up to five days after sex. Plan B, the most widely used emergency contraceptive pill, begins losing its ability to prevent pregnancy within three days of sex.

To imply that one brand of ECP is more effective than another when you don't have the evidence for that is bad enough (more on that in a bit). To then mislead your readers about the effectiveness of ECP over time is inexcusable.

The effectiveness of ECPs is time-dependent; the sooner you take the pill, the better it works. This is crucial information about ECP regimens and failure to communicate it clearly and correctly can lull people into a false sense of security causing them to use ECPs incorrectly.

Get the studies wrong

The Food and Drug Administration approved the drug Friday as a prescription-only birth control option. The ruling clears the way for U.S. sales of the drug, which is already approved in Europe.

Morristown, N.J.-based Watson Pharmaceuticals will market the drug in the U.S. under an agreement with HRA. Watson said it will launch the pill in the fourth quarter.

Studies of ella by its manufacturer showed the drug prevented pregnancies longer and more consistently than Plan B.

In a head-to-head trial between the two drugs, women who took ella had a 1.8 percent chance of becoming pregnant, while women who took Plan B had a 2.6 percent chance. Experts tracked nearly 1,700 women who randomly received one of the two pills within three to five days of having unprotected sex.

More paragraphs, more major mistakes.

First, the trial did not compare ellaOne to Plan B. Rather, ellaOne was compared with NotPlan B.

Second, the Lancet study did not show that ellaOne prevents pregnancies longer and more consistently than Plan B NotPlan B. All it did show was that ellaOne is no worse than NotPlan B. As I mentioned in the linked post:

This may seem like a distinction without a difference, but it's not.

It's quite likely that ellaOne is more effective than the levonorgestrel brands when taken 3 to 5 days after unprotected intercourse but that hasn't been established yet and you should know that when deciding if ellaOne is the best emergency contraceptive option for you.

Sure, we all wish ellaOne turns out to be a better drug than the available alternatives. But until the evidence is in it is highly irresponsible to mislead your readers about the drug's effectiveness over time.

Be unclear on what's in ellaOne

Plan B is made by Teva Pharmaceuticals and is also marketed in several generic versions. Unlike ella, Plan B and other generic versions are available without a prescription for women 17 years and older.

HRA Pharma did not request over-the-counter status for its drug.

Ella uses the hormone progesterone to delay ovulation, a key step in the fertilization process.

Quick, when you read Ella uses the hormone progesterone to delay ovulation, what do you understand that to mean, A or B:

A) ellaOne contains progesterone and uses it to delay ovulation?

B) ellaOne contains ulipristal acetate (UA), a second generation progesterone receptor modulator (PRM), basically a progesterone antagonist. So, by blocking progesterone's action and modifying its activity ellaOne uses progesterone to delay ovulation? 

I would really like to believe that Matthew Perrone knows that ellaOne contains UA and he's just not very good at conveying that information but I doubt it. And here's why (emphasis mine):

Ella uses the hormone progesterone to delay ovulation, a key step in the fertilization process.

Despite this, the drug has drawn criticism from...groups who say it is closer to [another] pill....

Groups...argue the drug is chemically similar to the...drug mifeprestone....

I've truncated the paragraphs because I don't want you to get distracted by all the other misinformation that needs to be corrected. I'll do that in a moment. For now just focus on whether Matthew Perrone knows that ellaOne contains UA or not.

So, according to Perrone, despite the fact that Ella uses the hormone progesterone groups argue that ellaOne is chemically similar to mifepristone. [Incidentally, notice the caliber of reporting here. Who cares what the drug's actual composition is? Perrone reports on all the competing arguments from assorted groups and then you get to decide. "Professional" reporting at its best!]

Since both UA and mifepristone are PRMs, it looks to me that Perrone has no clue that ellaOne contains UA. In which case, both Perrone and the AP should be very ashamed for unleashing this level of misinformation on their readers.

Moving on.

When ignorance isn't enough, it's propaganda to the rescue

Despite this, the drug has drawn criticism from anti-abortion groups who say it is closer to an abortion pill than an emergency contraception pill.

Groups including the Family Research Council argue the drug is chemically similar to the abortion drug mifeprestone, which can be taken to end a pregnancy up to 50 days into the gestation period. That drug has been associated with severe infections and bleeding after abortion. However, FDA reviewers reported no life-threatening medical side effects with ella.

Incorrect information on top of incorrect information.

Before I go on, a quick note about the brand names. Notice the use of ellaOne and mifepristone in the paragraph above. That is incorrect. You don't mix brand names and compound names. So, the correct way is either ellaOne and Mifeprex (brand names) or ulipristal acetate (UA) (ellaOne) and mifepristone (Mifeprex). Moving on.

First, if you hope to maintain any credibility as a journalist you don't allow groups like the Family Research Council to use you as their propaganda mule.

"ellaOne and mifepristone are chemically similar so, um, OMG...abortion!!!Eleventyone!!111" has no place in a fact-based article.

Both ellaOne and Mifeprex are PRMs. Neither is a magic pill, nor, for that matter, an abortion pill. Depending on dosage and regimen, PRMs have different mechanisms of action. In particular, mifepristone can work on ovulation to prevent pregnancy (birth control) or the uterus to terminate a pregnancy (abortifacient). The specific doses/regimens are not interchangeable. The fact that mifepristone is a PRM and the fact that it can be part of a regimen which can be taken to end a pregnancy up to 50 days are totally irrelevant to emergency contraception and ellaOne.

As to ellaOne, it is a second generation, selective PRM, the first molecule to have been specifically designed and developed for use as an oral emergency contraceptive. (pdf)

Second, "mifepristone is Satan's drug but don't worry nobody's dropped dead yet from ellaOne" also not appropriate for a reality-based article.

In general, the side effects associated with an abortifacient regimen that contains mifepristone (or any other drugs for that matter) are totally irrelevant to an UA emergency contraceptive regimen. That's because, once a pregnancy is established, the anatomy and physiology change. For example, the delayed or prolonged bleeding/spotting caused by manipulating hormones with ECPs is not comparable with, say, the bleeding some women may experience after a termination, or even a term delivery, from retained POCs.

In particular, mifepristone has not been associated with severe infections after abortion. I know I just mentioned that mifepristone's side effects are irrelevant, but this "associated with severe infections" myth needs to die already so let me spend just a moment debunking it.

Briefly, there have been no severe infection cases in patients using the FDA-approved regimen of 600 mg mifepristone po, followed by 400 mcg of misoprostol po. There have been several fatal infection cases in patients using the off-label regimen of 200 mg mifepristone po, followed by 800 mcg of misoprostol PV. No association has been found between mifepristone and misoprostol, regardless of regimen, and the severe infection cases. (More on this here, here, and here.)

Back to the ellaOne/mifepristone paragraph, the best thing to do is to ignore it altogether. There's just too much misinformation, and the spectacle of a reporter being taken for a ride is unseemly. Which brings me to the bottom line on this entire article.

The AP throws a mishmash of confusing, incorrect, and irrelevant information at you and expects you to, somehow, make sense of it all, from extracting what few factual bits there are to identifying and ignoring the misinformation.

What kind of bizarro reporting is this?

Don't make me go back to school Pa...

These are pictures of actual school lunches from an American High School. Just look at them and feel lucky for a while. If you don't live in England of course. Then you can just feel jealous.

Too Sick For Words


Interesting indeed. Ellen Satter has written a hierarchy of food needs which looks like this:

This hierarchy is a response to people who argues that poor people choose to not eat "healthy food because they're ignorant or prefer unhealthy food". This hierarchy which is based on Maslows Hierarchy of Needs shows that:

"getting enough food to eat is the most important thing to people. Having food be acceptable (e.g., not rotten, something you are not allergic to) comes second. Once those two things are in place, people hope for reliable access to food and only then do they begin to worry about taste. If people have enough, acceptable, reliable, good-tasting food, then they seek out novel food experiences and begin to make choices as to what to eat for instrumental purposes (e.g., number of calories, nutritional balance)."

This is very interesting, however I do think the scale is simplifying the food issues which exist in today's world. But even so, the truth is that most of you reading this are probably on the top of the scale (how lucky are we) but have food behaviours that fits into the bottom two levels on the scale.

Think about that son.

Okay then.

So the UN wants to reduce global warming caused by our massive meat consumption. I say hurray to that.

I mean we all know that our meat consumption "requires too much space and fodder to be an energy-efficient source of food for the everexpanding population" so the UN are giving you dirrty flesh eaters some alternatives.

Like insects for instance.

I don't really know what to say. But I'll just go with okay then. Even though I'm worried other vegans will gang up against me. But I need to know how much pain an ant can feel before I start hatin on em bug eaters. So holla at me if you know that.

Chinese Hospitals: “Everyone participate in the sorting out of the law and order problem!”

A very interesting article about Chinese hospitals, the quality of care, and violence against doctors.

Popcorn Craze

I love popcorn! And I usually pop the kernels myself in a big saucepan because I don't want the normal microwave popcorn with all the shit and fat they put into them. But NOW I've found these awesome ORGANIC FATFREE popcorn with HIMALAYA SALT. YAAAY.

I was so happy in the grocery store I did a little dance.

And then I went home to eat some popcorn.

[Urtekram Organic Popcorn]

It's Called Evolution

Just when you thought that the human mind couldn't get more creative/nasty/awkward with "food" after seing stuff such as the Lasagnwich and KFC's Double Down we get yet another surprise.

Say hello to the newcomer: Denny's Fried Cheese Melt.

Don't let the name fool you, it's not just some fried cheese on a hillbilly stick. Oh no. This is some upmarket shit. This is a gourmet creation which consists of "four fried mozzarella sticks and melted American cheese grilled between two slices of sourdough bread".

Ah, American Fast Food chains. Who needs Jersey Shore when we can get the crazy ass tacky shit they offer.

The Hamburger of the Future

Ok. This is actually really, really disgusting.

According to NY Times, the hamburger you'll be eating in a few years time might be developed in an incubator. Yeah. Not on a cow's butt, thats just too ol' school son!

"Scientists at NASA and at several Dutch universities have been developing the technology since 2001, and in a few years' time there may be a lab-grown meat ready to market as sausages or patties. In 20 years, the scientists predict, they may be able to grow a whole beef or pork loin. A tissue engineer at the Medical University of South Carolina has even proposed a countertop device similar to a bread maker that would produce meat overnight in your kitchen."

Tissue engineer? I actually feel a bit sick.

But the really sick part is that some of you are probably thrilled over this cheap meat solution. You sick bastard.

Domestic Terrorism For Thee, But Not For Dr. Tiller's Assassin

Why is throwing two ground burst simulators (practice grenades) into a crowd of strangers in a parking lot considered domestic terrorism, but shooting someone in the head, someone you've explicitly targeted for terrorism, not so much?

I thought maybe it's because soldiers are held to a higher standard of conduct than civilians but, since the charges were brought by civilian authorities, I don't see how you can make an argument that some people deserve to be held to a different standard under the law just because of their chosen profession. Very odd, indeed.


The Benefits of Invading Mexico

Photo by Gnarls Monkey

Everybody knows that if you live in Mexico there are advantages to invading the U.S. But what about the reverse? If you live in the States, are there any benefits to crossing the border into Mexico?

The answer is yes, you can benefit from, you know, invading Mexico, if you happen to be a low-income woman on the Pill that is.

Researches wanted to test the hypothesis that making access to the Pill more convenient -- by 1)removing the prescription requirement, and 2) providing users with more Pill packs -- could increase Pill use and continuation.

They recruited 1046 current Pill users living in El Paso, TX, a setting where low-income women can obtain the Pill without a prescription by crossing the border into Mexico and buying the Pill OTC from a Ciudad Juarez pharmacy. [532 women received Pill packs with a prescription from an El Paso clinic and 514 women purchased the Pill OTC from a Ciudad Juarez pharmacy.]

The study found that discontinuation was significantly lower for women who used the pharmacy to buy the Pill than for clinic users. When the number of Pill packs was taken into account, discontinuation rates were higher...for clinic users who received one to five pill packs. Only clinic users receiving 6+ pill packs had continuation close to pharmacy users.

So, convenience matters and can increase continuation. Which is all and good if you live near the border and have access to a pharmacy where the Pill is sold OTC. If you don't, unfortunately your options are limited. That's because most health plans limit the Rx filled at a pharmacy to a 30-day supply and [s]tate Medicaid polices vary across the country, but no more than a 100-day supply is dispensed at any one time.

One way to get around the 1 pack limit is to ask for same sample packs from your Ob/Gyn and check to see if your insurance plan has a mail-order pharmacy program which usually ships a 3-months supply of meds.

And Thats Why You Will Grow An Alien Head Out Of Your Shoulder When You're 40

Hello my British peeps! Here are some awesome news if you like flesh and cow puss!

Apparently, the "Food Standards Agency (FSA) had pledged to urgently investigate suggestions that a British dairy farmer was selling milk from cloned animals " earlier this week.

Yeah. This is some Robocop shit. Mixed with a little bit of Dolly, the beautiful cloned sheep.

But not only that my beautiful cream-lovers, yesterday the FSA claimed "that up to 100 cattle had been bred from clones on British farms" as well.

Awesome, awesome, awesome.

So keep doing what you're doing. But please don't call me in a few years when you start to develop some weird mole that turns out to be a tumor that turns out to be some extra terrestrial that turns out to be cheeky and makes sexual jokes while you're sleeping. Because I'll be busy being all healthy and shit.

Jamie Oliver Cries Too

I don't like Jamie Oliver (seriously who does?), and not only because he likes to make shows about how to slaughter animals and then eating dead flesh while calling it "healthy" and giving it to little school kids but also because the guy actually has got really bad hair and he lisps. Like hello. A chef that lisps? We might as well have a one-eyed model then.

Earlier this year, Jamie Oliver went on a mission to try and "convert an Amercian community to healthy eating". (....) Baaahahaha, I know.

But anyway, the guy tried, oh how he tried. But to try and change Americas Fattest State was not really an easy thing to do. In Huntington, Americas fattest city where 50% of the population are obese, Jamie tried to convince them that hillbilly hotdogs is not really one of your five a days. It didn't work.
Jamie cried. And one West Virginian radio presenter simply said: "'We don't want to sit around and eat lettuce all day."

And thats why people like George W. Bush can become presidents in the awesome mess we call America.

We Don't Speak Americano

But this pie sure does! Say hello to the Cherpumple Monster Pie Cake. A sandwich which is being served in American high schools and consists of Cherry, Pumpkin and Apple pie.

Ok, it's not being served in schools, but I'm sure its being handed out somewhere in Texas as we speak.

Enter This Link Like You Would Enter The Viper Room 1994

The Informative Book Which Turns People Vegan.

Me Love You Long Time

The Guardian just published an article about a study which shows that Japanese women live the longest lives on earth. Eat your tofu now!

Somewhere In The World, Nicole Richie Just Smiled

When Froot Loops Attack!

Ahh Froot Loops. Fresh fruits rolled up into cute little cereal loops, created with the honest intention of providing you and your family with the healthiest most nutritional vitamins. Or not.

Because now, Kelloggs has recalled loads of their Froot Loops cereals due to a "strange odour". This funky strange odour is actually not so funky and strange as it is "high levels of 2-methylnaphthalene."

Yeah Baby. Your colourful cereals have something in them which classifies as "Harmful [and] Dangerous for the environment."

Phew. At least its only the enviroment and not your body.

Enjoy your breakfast.