How To Live Long Like A Briton

According to The Telegraph: "Britons are drinking more, getting fatter but living longer"....

Uhm. So...okay. Are we like...are we like supposed to run out to the closest Burger King and pick up an pick up a bottle of henny on the way? I THINK YES.

I mean the title of this article is clearly suggesting that the bright British peeps have it all figured out: get drunk, get fat and live longer! I mean is it not obvious!? Alcohol and saturated fat is the answer to eternal life ya'll!!! Nevermind the fact that we use to die at age 30 when we were cavemen and that we have since then developed and no longer need to die from a cold or from a giant mammoth taking a big chunk out of our arm, and that our longer years on earth are due to evolution. Nevermind all that.

Please people. Let's just eat that pork pie, drink that lager and live as long as we can! YAHHH!