Ingredients To A Healthy Relationship: Knowing Yourself First

Have you ever said these awful words “it’s not you, It’s me” when you are ready to end a relationship?  Many persons say these words and not mean it.  A common reason is to “let the person down gently” while trying to escape from a relationship you no longer want.  Another popular reason is to take blame for a relationship's incompatibility—knowing in your heart—you were never meant for each other!  So many of us fall in this latter category where we do not know what we want in a relationship.

I have found that many of my friends get into relationships for the wrong reasons.  At the time, it made perfect sense.  In retrospect, reasons such as:  “I am ready to settle down," and "I’m not getting any younger" are not  healthy starts to any relationship.

If you want to get into a loving, compatible relationship start by knowing yourself first.  Think about it.  If you don’t know what you want, how can you attract the right type for you?  

Consider these 5 helpful self-directed goals that will give you a better perspective of self and the qualities you should want to attract in a mate.

Goal #1:  Believe in yourself
Love yourself. Tell yourself every morning that you are an awesome and talented individual.  Take the time to examine what you enjoy doing and find your passion.  Exude confidence or fake it until it becomes natural.  Be optimistic about life, take challenges head-on, and pursue your dreams.

It takes guts to be yourself, which is why it is an admirable quality that drives people towards that type of personality.

Goal #2:  Be independent
Having the freedom to choose what you want instead of waiting on the decisions of others is a powerful experience to own. When you are skilled, talented, industrious, or financially secure, you can take charge of your destiny.

 Goal #3:  Stand-up for something- your integrity
Stick to your beliefs and principles without compromise.  This makes you truly unique in this world, your cultural background, ethnicity, and family values reflect you. 

Adopt a “take it or leave it” attitude when it comes to demands that question your integrity and self-respect. Stand up for your beliefs and attract the right companion in the process.

Goal #4:  Be fearless
Don’t give in to others because you want to belong. Accept that you are a remarkable individual--enjoy what gives you a thrill in life-- and indulge in your hobbies.  Do what feels right for you. Take bold steps, despite what others may think.  

Goal#5:  Relax, laugh at yourself, and let others see your glow
Life is a series of hurdles, why add more to it by getting anxious each day.  Learn to laugh good and hard at yourself.  Lighten the mood in the atmosphere by remaining cool and calm.  Stay connected to your spiritual side and it will become easier to be at peace.

Before long, you will have others gawking at how amazing you are!

Soon enough, you will find yourself attracting the right people, just by being you.  Although you will never truly know yourself--even when you take your last breath on this earth— you will know what you don’t want.  In a healthy relationship you don’t want someone telling you, you can’t achieve those 5 self-directed goals. Your “special someone” instead, will be cheering you on, all the way!

“At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet”  Plato